Friday, October 24, 2008

Tori's Blog

Hey Tori,
I enjoyed reading your short short story which was full of detail which made me want to continue reading till the end. I think this could actually be a beginning to your second story that we have to write. Therefore you could answer some of my questions like What was she doing downtown anyway? Did she work or go to school? What kind of background she came from to make her parents roar about over the rhine? I would like to know more things about her life and personality. I like the specific details about it being dark and the location was over the rhine which is a community where crime rates are actually high. I also like the end when the man is actually completely different from a person that her parents would picture her running into. So that could possibly be a theme to another story in which you include several scenarios and situations in which her parents have stereotyped and in each case she proves them wrong and teaches them a lesson. Good work. 
                                                                                                                                            Tiaira

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